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01 June 2006 @ 12:44 pm
so i just wondering how many of you can read this? im having trouble with the friends vs private va public thing
22 December 2005 @ 02:37 pm
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12 December 2005 @ 10:46 pm
Go to your calendar and find the first entry for each month of 2005. post the first line (or so) of it in your journal, and that's your "year in review".

433 words down

1067 to go

and its 11:30

i was recently forced to make a choice that pulled my heart in so many directions i cant even begin to count them. i gave up a last chance to do something i love in order not to lose someone i love.

ok well i leave the city in less the 24 hours, the state in less than 48 and in 72 hours i will no longer be in the country.

it makes me really mad and sad and at the same time totally freaked out... when did i become this person when did i start to act like this?!?!

just so you know

im fine guys...2nd degree burns, they will scar and i cant wear makeup to prom other than that im lucky

so ive concluded that no one is coming to my party... after the conversations i had at the academy it seems im going to have lots of left overs fuckin eh man...

wicked's WICKED!

a religion teacher assigned her class an essay on what makes a good christian

how sad is this i have been so busy the last week i havent had time to read mny book for mythology class
so im sparknoting it already in the second week of school

so today on home to mindees after rehearsal my car stalled twice and then i was too afraid to drive it all the way to my house so i stayed at mindees and called my parents

is it bad that i hate everything about myself right now?

1. Put your playlist on shuffle.

wow my year wasnt that great was it?
12 December 2005 @ 10:22 pm
Open iTunes/iPod or Windows Media Player to answer the following. Go to your library. Answer, no matter how embarrasing it is.

How many songs?

Sort by song title:
First Song: "any day now"
Last Song: haha znkw/piano.... its one i wrote

Sort by time:
Shortest Song: the calling-chasing the sun.. but i think its wrong .. it just doesnt have anything in the time spot.. the next one is spinner and jimmys rap from degrassi
Longest Song: love somebody to know.. but i thinkits only cuz of the huge pause before tta...the next longest is anything for love... meatloaf

Sort by album:
First Album: one short day... wicked
Last Album:popular...wicked.... loltoo funny

Top Five Most Played Songs:
how do u figure this out ????

First song that comes up on Shuffle:
something new lol
How many songs come up when you search for "sex"?

How many songs come up when you search for "death"?
How many songs come up when you search for "love"?

How many songs come up when you search for "you"?

How many songs come up when you search for "Hanson"?

How many songs come up when you search for "MMMBop"?

dude tabbys were so funnier than mine lol
12 December 2005 @ 01:16 pm
08 December 2005 @ 10:25 am

they just closed itr for a few days..one second i was posting ... the next...CLOSED

sad day...wut am i gonna do with this insane boredom now!?
07 December 2005 @ 02:24 pm
i totally forgot my wallet and now i have like no money!!!

or a drivers lisence for that matter

i better drive carefully today!
06 December 2005 @ 10:08 am
1. Put your playlist on shuffle.
2. Post the first lines to the first 50 songs to come up [along with these instructions].
3. Let people guess the songs and artists.
4. In a few days, post the answers in a new post, bolding the ones that no one guessed correctly.

1. ill always remember it was late afternoon
2.without you im just a lonely melody but together we we are harmony
3.all my bags are packed im ready to go, im standing here outside your door
4.she walks to school with the lunch she packed nobody knows what shes holding back
5.I do it on a whim, its rhyme without reason whatever comes to mind I'll pull it from thin air.
6.hakuna matata what a wonderful phrase
7.it wasnt supposed to be like this another dose of unhappiness
8. emily do you think its safe to guess that you'll be different from the rest
9. we were strangers starting out on a jounry never dreaming what wed have to go through
10.i comb the crowd and pick you out
11.he thinks that man is me, hw knew him at a glance
12.all of my days spent out crashing around, crashing around, all of my years spent out running around running around
13.what have i done sweet jesus what have i done
14.i peer through windows, watch life go by, dream of tomorrow and wonder why
15. i see you but you're not yourself, you're hiding in the corner
16. you took your coat off and stood in the rain
17. I study up my hollow Piece of wood to follow day that doesn't come To the lucky
18. on a hot summer night would you offer your throat to the wolf with the red roses
19.come and lay right on my bed sit and drink some wine
20.good news shes dead the witch of the west is dead, the wickest witch there ever was
21. how do i get thru a nite without you if i had to live without you what kind of life would that be
22. come with me to the emeral city, one short day in the emerald city
23.floor board is filled with baby toys and empty coke bottles and coffee cups
24. there was a time i dont know when i didnt have much time for men but this is now and that was then im learning
25.its alright its ok youkeep on running cuz you dont love me
26.There, out in the darkness A fugitive running Fallen from grace
27.this has been said so many times that im not sure that it matters
28.shes walking round in emptyness shes missing all the good she left in her prom dress
29. do you hear the people sing singing the song of angry men
30. every single time i see you i start to feel this way
31. between the perfect world and the bottom line to keep a love alive in these troubled times well its a miracle in these troubled times
32.the monstersaury school, i dont even know where to start
33.so if your lonely you know im here waiting for you
34. now im all alone again nowhere to turn no one to go to
35. take her home shes wasted...yay!
36brothers and sisters put this record down and take my advice
37. this is the moment this is the day when i send all my doubts and demons on their way
38. the strands in your eyes that color them wonderful stop me and steal my breath
39. oooo i wish you could my girlfriend my girlfriend who lives in canada
40. when somebody loved me everything was beautiful every hour we spent together lives inside my heart
41. i know you dont i? after tonight my little love you will never forget me
42.i never thought id die alone i laughed the loudest whod've known
43. candle light and soul forever i dream of you and me together say you believe it
44. wutcha gonna do with all that junk all that junk inside your trunk
45. i woke of from my sleep to the sound of that voice the words that i heard i had no choice
46. he watches her but she doesnt move, hes all alone in a steryl room
47. so lately ive been wondering who will be there to take my place
48.todays chasing me around i go crazy where outside of my world
49. everyday i see your face i wish that id stayed dont even know what made runaway its just the way i play the game
50 theres a girl with a butterfly tattoo standing next to a prostitute as you eat your breakfast with someone you dont know

god that took for freaking ever... and i doubt anyones gonna respond anyway
27 November 2005 @ 10:05 pm
hmm ok so update... its been a while.... saw the harry potter movie.. it was okay.. its another notch in the better books than movies category.. got kinda mad about all the tings they left out

my dad was a total asshole for the majority of thanksgiving day... marcie is annoying.. but rather entertaining to watch sometimes

sometimes i really just... i love them dont get me wrong, but sometimes my family drives me nuts and makes me feel so crappy

the girl i work with finally showed up today after 3 weeks of not showing and not calling.... i was very... ahem.. pleasant... i stuck my nose in a book and pretty much was useless.. ha! i love me lol

oooooooooo i got dana time this weekend... friday dana n i hung out at her house and she ....(to be filled in at a later date)... n then we came over to my house and watched frosty the snowman and then later we watched romeo and juliet... n then we slept and then piano

piano.... i suck... beyond words i suck... i wanted to die sitting there ... again... messing up everything... again.. blah.. i really dont think ill ever be any good...

then today i went to tabbys and we watched the .net kit... it was lame... like wed expected.. but taylor made sex noises and we got all excited lol

then i came home and wrote a song on the piano... just piano music.. it sucks but its my first song ever without words... n im not 100% sure the way to write it.. like on paper.. like yea.. i know wut i mean...

and my bf is a total doll.. he took me to the movies last nite and then today for no reason brought me flowers and he totally made my day even though i only got to see him for a few minutes.. it was so sweet... i miss him... we dont see eachother as much anymore... but i swear i was smiling so big for like an hour...

then my dad came home all grrr like n yea totally ruined my just received spontaneous flowers glow.... butthead i dont really want to get into it... but i really just wish .. i dunno i need to get out of this house before i start to actually hate my family...

my mom has heart problems and emphasiema... i have no idea how to spell that... but yea.. shes still smoking.. i caught her the other day.. part of me is sad.. i mean it is my mom.. part of me is angry at her.. part of me thinks shes being incredibly self centerd and self indulgent... but hey.. im just a teenager what do i know... if she dies before her grandkids are born.. at least they wont have any choice but to believe the good stuff cuz theyll never have the chance to walk in on her smoking pot

i shud be doing hw.. but im not.. im lame like that... blah....

just one more time

i love jason froelich... he makes me so happy its crazy...21 days till our one year...

28 days till christmas... o yes christmas.. my parents put up almost all the outside decorations while i was at the academy sat for 2 hrs.... i was so pissed.. and they went tree shopping without me.. they didnt get the one they picked out cuz they had the car and they hadnt rearranged the room to fit it yet... dude i might as well not even live here anymore i mean really... they might as well have christmas without me.. o wait... they will.. i work


just keep thinking about jason and the flowers and happy thoughts like that and *nothing* and yea teehee*giggle*

i better get some sleep...

goodnite all
24 November 2005 @ 01:36 pm
i HATE holidays and i HATE living here and i want out NOW